spring goals

1. go on a mini road trip. this is the next destination: long island. I am so pumped because it's looking like it is going to be a girls' weekend sometime at the end of march - YESSS! i can't wait to see all things long island-y. We are visiting Sagamore Hill (to satisfy my inner history buff), the coastal towns, maybe Fire Island and maybe, just maybe, we will make it up to the Hamptons.

2. shoot three outfit posts with spring-inspired looks and locales! I have picked up some amazing finds from UO, Anthro, and Banana lately...need to style and shoot those soon as it gets warmer!

3. keep up with the fit bit. this is my newest obsession! S got me a Fitbit for Valentine's Day and it is the best. thing. ever. I love competing with him for the most steps (he happens to be winning this week)...but it helps to notice the not-so-obvious things, like peak heart rate and amount of water I drink (see #9). I love it and how aware I now am of my movements. If anything, it makes me want to work out and move. I am hoping that sticks!

4. build the portfolio by adding 2 more portrait sessions before july.  I am thinking one city shoot and one field shoot.

5. get back into the smoothie routine (and add protein).

6.  find a new cafe to add to the coffee diaries!

7. invest in a new prime lens. I bought (and returned) a macro lens last summer and I have regretted getting rid of it. It was awesome. I am looking for a macro lens for super closeups, especially with a lower aperture, to capture really beautiful.

8. practice the art of calligraphy. I have dabbled with it for years, as a hobby, but I would love to get more accustomed to traditional calligraphy as well as the much more relaxed brush calligraphy. it is so soothing!

9. drink more w a t e r . this goes unsaid.

10. be nice to people. i've been noticing myself getting less patient, and i want to stop that in its tracks. I need to relax sometimes, and be nice to people more genuinely. sometimes my goal is just to get through the day - whether its the work day, grad school, whatever - and i think part of my problem is not being present. stress is definitely a factor in this, but continuing to allow myself "me" time and decompress is important to achieving a more patient, calm demeanor.

11. revive the blog. this is A BIG ONE! i have not blogged since january...and even before that, my blog posts were so scattered ever since I switched anticipation to be a private blog, open to only invited readers. I still feel so torn about that choice.  I have been building a. taylor studio, my creative website for photography, watercolors, and more - and that has been absolutely taking all my attention away from my blog. I haven't spent much time photographing for fun or going anywhere new/noteworthy to document. So I'd really like to change that, and aim to post here at Anticipation a few times a month. I miss it! I feel like this blog is my happy collection of archives - happy and small moments that are nonsignificant but important to me.

ciao! xo

some recent updates

+ searching for pieces. oook! so lately I have been desperately in need of a few new, stylish pieces - mainly accessories - to amp up my wardrobe and keep it both seasonally "in style" and also classic and "timeless." In short: I need scarves and dresses and boots and earrings and sweaters and bracelets and long gold necklaces and a new tote bag.

+ loving documentaries. I think I talked about this a few posts ago...but how amazing is Amazon Prime video? I love the video feature that's included in the membership, it is hands-down the most used aspect of the membership I use and love. I've been opened to so many great films and notably documentaries. As a history lover, I am really finding myself drawn to the classic Ken Burns documentaries, especially the Civil War. It touched me so much that it inspired a quick getaway here! I love how they allow you to learn and relax and lounge with a cup of tea...it is what makes an ideal weeknight for me.

+ getting back on track with running. I have recently found some pants getting a bit tighter...ahh! So that's gotta change. I do not own a scale and really would like to, so for the time being I use my clothes to gauge my weight and whether or not I am maintaining it. In the last several months I have gotten into the best shape I have ever been in, and I guess I let it go to the wayside a little. I used to run  e v e r y single day in the summer but this year I have been very inconsistent. I am only 2 weeks strong, but I have been consistently exercising and keeping an eye on how often I do cardio/runs. Eating is a part of it too...but tonight I had fajitas so I am not sure I can toot my own horn about how healthy I eat right now...haha.

+ on confidence. This is a good thing...I find that the older I get, the more confidence I have. It's like a fully supplied reserves system. I feel good being me, good in my skin, and I feel very confident - for the most part - about my work life. I love my place right now and I thank my lucky stars for being where I am.  I don't know it all, and I am learning every day, but I feel very stable in my life right now which is kind of nice. The twenties are tumultuous in a young adults life; I finally am feeling centered. I turn 26 in April! Holy moly...

+ on little getaways.  Recently this quote caught my eye: disappear one weekend per month. Maybe it's not a quote, but it is a piece of advice I really like. In November my mom and I took an impromptu trip to Gettysburg, and we are planning our next mini-trip to Long Island, NY. I hope it works out, because the next few weekends leading up to Christmas will certainly be busy. Weekend trips like this, even close ones, are like pressing a reset button. A two-day trip feels like a full out vacation. It all depends on the context, the company, and the circumstances...but I love the spontaneity of a quick getaway and think it does wonders for the soul!

+ on beauty routines. I feel like I am looking so tired lately, and I'm not sure if it is because I am not drinking enough water, or wearing mediocre makeup (or a combination of both). My skincare routine has been kind of up and down lately; running out of my favorite La Mer moisturizer, having a really hard time finding a good eyeliner, etc. All I know is that for eyeliner, I just don't like waterproof makeup. It needs to be scrubbed off! All it does it irritate my face, and I am not sure where to get a good, simple, bold but washable eyeliner that defines my eyes and keeps me looking awake. As for water, I could always use more.

What's going on with you??

going incognito

After a lot of thinking and deep rumination, I've decided to close my blog to the public and go incognito to the rest of the world. It makes the most sense to me at my age and place in the world - a place where oversharing can be very common. It is absurd to want to share my photos and all of the things I do but simultaneously feel very protective of my experiences and images. Not everyone has to see every picture I take or what I look like or where I am. It is simply a matter of privacy. I am so proud of what I have done on my blog over the years, and have absolutely LOVED every moment of it. I think the most important and meaningful aspect has been how I have grown into photography; it started with a camera I bought and didn't even truly understand how to use. Now, I'm an amateur but I know what I am doing. I love photography and the sound of a releasing shutter, the satisfaction of a fantastic shot. I will continue pursuing that over at A. Taylor.

I will not stop blogging - it will just be 'invitation only.' Maybe I will change my mind in the future and 're-open' my blog to the public. I used to worry about my readers' following my blog, when I lost followers, or when my other blogger friends from years past stopped blogging too. At a time when blogging got to me, I even became disenchanted (particularly by high-income fashion bloggers). There are so many people I have "met" through blogging. One time I kept in such close contact with a blogger from Canada - we were internet friends, she had the coolest posts and ideas, and we always were commenting on each others posts - and then suddenly, she vanished. Off the grid - I was so sad, even concerned for her!

I am a bit sad to be writing this, because now I feel like absolutely no one will read what I have to say. So many people that used to read won't even have the chance to. I feel like I am locking myself out, and intentionally secluding myself. My blog, to a degree, has always been a "place" for me...so I don't expect anyone to want to sit here and read this anyway. But I will miss the comments, the sharing, the friends I have made. I have done swaps, started pen pal correspondents, exchanged thousands of emails, won and hosted giveaways - heck, I even won a trip to Europe to be a video blogger for a summer. Blogging is inspiring.

The reason I am sharing this is because I wanted to offer some time for you to email me or comment if you want to be on the invited reading list. When I close the blog publicly, you will still be able to read my blog as long as I get your email right. I will be posting regularly and continuing my love for photography - I don't think I'll be giving that up anytime soon!!

ciao! xo

email: bloganticipation (at) gmail.com

five things i love about countryside living

It isn't often that I take time to appreciate the countryside. Its qualities are things I notice only when they aren’t present - like when I’m wandering around the city, stuck in traffic, or smelling stinky city smells.  But to contradict myself, I am noticing the beauties of the countryside and appreciating it more and more. It often happens when it is screaming at me in the face - through a color-splashed sunset, or an unmanned "leave $5 in the mailbox" fresh flower stand at the end of someone's drive. It's incredibly hard to narrow down the things I love about country living, but I have chosen what means most to me. At a time when most people my age are living their lives in sky-high apartments or spending weekends at IKEA for city dwelling furnishing, I am holding true to my countryside roots!

The phrase 'farm to table' is, I think, a phrase born from the city; because here in the countryside that's just how food is expected to be: from the farm. I think it took me time to actually appreciate this, because I definitely took it for granted when I was younger. There is just the right balance of farmers markets, grocery stores, and farm stands in my area. Each place is a go-to for its own reason. It makes it easy - especially in the warmer, in-season months - to cook and come up with creative and healthy dishes. 

Fresh grown herbs and a diverse gamut of spices is something I depend on daily when I am cooking. Vegetables and fruits during the growing season are another staple, especially for dinners or smoothie making.

I really do appreciate my morning commute as a time to think. My morning commute has long stretches of open road; horse farms; foggy fields; sunrises and the occasional deer. I don't take it for granted - even if I am driving to work. There is rarely any traffic (usually I get stuck behind a school bus) and the road is wide, surrounded by green trees and pretty views of open land. Last year I even got to drive over a covered bridge every day - a rarity, even around here!

Even better than commuting? Weekend drives. 

Something about a small, store-front lined street with lamp posts and cobblestones appeals to me. I love all of the little spots near and far from home; although each one is a short drive, they are always worth a look. I'm still finding new things every time I go. I think my #1 favorite this year goes to Princeton - I love everything about that place and would love to live there someday.

In a typical main street town you can almost always find bits of the city: i.e. a Starbucks, maybe parking meters, a couple of name brand stores, and historical buildings. What makes them different is the mom and pop stores, the farm stands, the fresh flowers that are laid out in window boxes and pots out side of store fronts and doors. Little cafes and lunch counters. Ice cream shops and eclectic tarot card readers. Historic hotels-turned-restaurants and Revolutionary War era inns (hey, George Washington "slept" here!).

Summer nights (or spring, or fall - not so much winter) are meant to be spent outdoors. My mom's garden is an entertainer's eden - it begins on the deck and spills out into the surrounding corners of the property. It is adorned with fairy lights and citronella torches and candles. In the purple twilight of a summer evening, the illumination is just so lovely. I love how isolated and tucked away a gathering can feel at home - we are in our own little world and the rest of civilization feels like miles away! 

You can't really capture this in a city, unless you're on someone's rooftop. While that has its certain edginess to it, I'd take a garden party any day. We often round out the night with music, a bonfire for s'mores, and a tray of tea and coffees to accompany dessert. We've had everything from going away parties, graduations, tea parties, surprise birthdays, to family reunions.

I also love being in a place where nature - although routine for my eyes - is everywhere.   Birds, flowers, deer, full moons, hilly fields, creeks and rivers, foliage, and the soft wind. I can take a walk or drive and stretch my eyes nice and far. I hear birds chirping in the spring mornings and owls hooting during dark winter nights. I can look outside my window and see every shade of green possible. There are dozens of horse farms less than a mile away. The stars at night are bright and clear - nothing is obstructing their brightness. Barns are plentiful. Hills in the distance are winding and blue. There are lots of hidden drives and creeks and bridges. I could never, ever, ever tire of the flowers - wild or not. 

 - - - 

what do you love about your neck of the woods!?

ciao, xo

dinner on the deck

Evening dinners on the deck in the months before it gets swelteringly hot is the one of the best things we all love in our family. This dinner, inspired by the kebab recipe I shared here, just came together effortlessly. We have gotten so good at pulling this kind of a thing out of nowhere! Our dinner was a relaxed and quiet al fresco garden dinner for mother's day - featuring our mediterranean kebabs, pesto rotini, wild grain rice, roasted red potatoes and of course some of my favorite pecorino cheese. To top it off? My one and only favorite wine, chianti.

Barefoot evenings on the deck like this make summer feel like it is really here - it's easy to completely slip away and forget that there is work and responsibilities and an early rise coming in the morning. I love these lazy nights, where the dinner slowly carries on into the darker twilight hours, and no one needs to know the time or check their phones because everyone is there. Once the sun goes down, the lights lining the deck make everything look so magical. Dinner is usually followed by everyone unhurriedly roaming to the fire pit, where more wine is drunk and s'mores are made...

These kinds of moments make me so excited to have my own dinners and gatherings...with lots of wines, lots of cheeses and olives, dishes inspired by Tuscany - simpler and lighter and better - alla griglia. I'll have a big annual festa, where everyone wears light linens and sits at a huge, long wooden table filled with all sorts of pasta piatti and small dishes. Dinner will drawl on to the latest midnight hours, there'll be fairy lights strung about, and the great white moon and the stars will be the grand finale at the end of the night.

ciao! xo

carlsbad flower ranch

Carlsbad Ranch and their 50+ acres of ranunculus was the last spontaneous destination of the trip heading back from San Diego...and it was so. heavenly. beautiful. I truly have never been so overwhelmed by color. It was once-in-a-lifetime unforgettable.

One important reason why I am so fond of this memory is that it is so truly and completely spontaneous. I had never heard of anything like this in California, let alone the United States...I only thought that fields like this existed in Europe. I saw an editorial in a hotel magazine about the Flower Fields at Carlsbad the day before and was immediately curious and intrigued. And even more conveniently, it was located right on our way home - about 5 minutes off of our route. Fate? Yes!!

From the road, you could see the rows and rows and rows of vibrant bursts of color. Ask S - I think I was squealing. By the way, S was SO patient as we walked through here. It might not look like it from the pictures, but the place was teeming with tourists. It was also teeming with the happiest buds of ranunculus - a more delicate kind of peony - of every color imaginable. It was beautiful to see the variety of colors even within one row. From afar, it looks like blurred punches of one color, but when you walk up to the flowers and get on a closer level, you really see all of the flecks and variegated colors within the petals.

I could write a love letter to these fields. I want to sleep there, wear a big floofy dress in there, and just take thousands of pictures all day. As a photographer, this was a moment out of one of my dreams. I loved the cheerful vibes of the staff - I mean, I guess working at a place like this is the secret to happiness indeed. I want to cut a bunch for a gigantic bouquet, but then I don't - how could one ever willingly cut away from these gorgeous, undulating waves of color?

Carlsbad's peak season is from the end of March until May. I am so, so eternally happy that I was blessed with the opportunity to see this with S! He knows it meant a lot to me. I love the little hidden treasures like this. Go if you're ever down on I-5 by Carlsbad :)

Ps. Thanks to the @the_flower_fields for following me back on instagram! You guys are the coolest. Be back soon :)

ciao, xo

birthday!

Today is my birthday! 25, ahh so old! It has been a great weekend! I have been blogging all about California (and even more to come) but I actually spent my Bday on the East Coast, in Washington DC! It was awesome :)

In California, with S, we celebrated my birthday a little early (above) with Susie Cakes. S raaaaaaved about these and after taking my first bite, I could see what the hype was about. There is something quite hypnotic about a deliciously sugary and moist cupcake. In our box: mocha, vanilla, chocolate, and a chocolate. Haha, we like the classics :) I cannot wait for my next Susie Cake!!

I love you S! And I'm so looking forward to this year!
ciao! xo

february goals

Can you believe February is almost here?! Already into chapter 2 of 2015...amazing. I am looking forward to a lot this month, including a lot of health goals I am setting for myself. This winter I am finding (much to my liking!) that I have a lot of me time. I am being responsible with balancing work and being 'productive,' plus a few fun things here and there. January was great - lots of yoga, spending smart, the Downton premiere, a day trip, plus some new interior changes which have felt like a breath of fresh air!

february goals

• top priority: running 3x a week and other small workouts in between, including vinyasa classes and maybe barre. I am almost ashamed of how relaxed I have been when it comes to working out. If I were to get together with myself now and a me back from September, the September-me would disapprove of my hiatus from running. SO - in the spirit of starting fresh, April & Mary and I (two blog friends from years back!) are going to be cheering each other on as we work on our personal health goals.
• Devote more time branching out with blogging. I want to get in touch with so many new or recent bloggers I've discovered - gotta get the emails rollin!
• Shoot a few more wintry-themed style posts while I can! I'll aim for 3-4 more between February and March. Expect one very soon, actually! 
• Save $$. I am in the process of planning a trip in April and I want to save up, keeping this big trip in mind. I want to limit purchases to cash...when possible. 
• Stick to the skin routine. I have posted about it before, and I still feel a little self conscious about this - but my skin went through a lot in 2014! I have been SO happy and comfortable "in my own skin," not to be cliche. But I am. I have established a much better and healthier routine to help this, and I want to keep it up. 
• Limit the take out and ordering out for dinner to once a week. I have gotten better in January about making dinners at home. HOWEVER, I usually just fall back on the easiest and most delicious thing I can make: pasta. Penne with pesto, chicken noodle soup, gnocchi...sigh. It is all so delicious (see next bullet*). I want to be a little more creative in the cooking department, without spending too much money and definitely without relying on take out like I have done in the past. Some ideas I have in mind already: chicken fajitas, breakfast for dinner, spinach soup, salads (ugh) and maaaaaybe even veggie bowls, I don't know. I just need to back off the pasta.
• Pasta only 1x per week. Deal with it. Plan accordingly.*

what are some goals you're setting yourself for February!?
Ciao e buon Febbraio!! xo