thankful

Starting this post is a little hard. I was debating posting about this, because I decided to keep this more or less 'private' up until now. I felt weird about sharing the fact that I was in a car accident. I didn't want to garner sympathy or attention, and I didn't want to seem like I was complaining or oversharing. Social media does that so much, and I try to share very little on there. Which is why I feel a little hypocritical having a blog and sharing it here. Not that I owe an explanation, but I want to share this for the positives, not the shock value or the scary imagery. Because in the end, the positives are what is left out of this post.

All of this happened last Thursday at 6:30 am. My morning routine is pretty standard. Wake up at 5:30 or 5:45, wash face, brush teeth, put on clothes, makeup, lunch, coffee, out the door. Last Thursday was another normal day. I wasn't late, I had a pretty meager packed lunch, and I liked my outfit. It was a warm but clear day, actually a beautiful morning. I was thinking about what I had to do that day. I clearly remember that NPR was doing a story about Donald Trump on the radio.

About 3 minutes into my morning commute, a pickup truck smashed into my car. I didn't even see it coming. My car had spun and lodged into a fence and everything around me was shaken up. I remember screaming, loudly. My seatbelt was on, but I felt like I had been thrashed around. Miraculously, my hands worked. My arms worked. My legs worked. My mind was, albeit hysterical, working. I unbuckled my seatbelt, and walked out. Thinking about it now, I truly believe that this was an honest to God miracle.

I saw the shattered glass all over the road, my car in a heaping mess of twisted metal. Cars around me stopped; I was shaken to the core. A sweet woman whose name I didn't get came over and held my hand. I fumbled for what felt like forever before I dialed the police, then my parents. It truly was an eternity of standstill horror.

But the next thing I knew, my mom and dad were hugging me, and everyone involved was okay.  I know that ride for them felt like an eternity of horror, too. I remember seeing my car, now hanging from the frame and lodged into a chainlink fence all the way up to the windshield. The back doors were bent and useless. The rear of my car, which was where most of the force hit, was literally reduced to pieces of metal hanging off a steel frame. The only comfort was that everyone in the scene seemed to be okay, and I was with those I love the most.

I clung to my mom, and she helped me realize, that this car took all of the damage and I WAS OKAY.   And this was a miracle. It definitely took me a few hours, especially after thinking about it again and again, but I realized that I was so unbelievably lucky to walk away like I did. I was inches away from so much more pain or even death. It was a serious crash, and just thinking about it is really hard for me to do. I know there are so many people out there who have lived through worse, or who know people who didn't make it out. Thinking about it is so haunting, but now I am aware of how truly lucky I am to be typing this right now; in my bed; enjoying the light rain outside; able to look forward to next weekend. I am so lucky to have all of those things I am enjoying right now. Despite the waves of shock and infuriating anger, I have so much to be thankful for. So much learning in this jarring experience.

I chose not to share this with my friends (until now, that is) and still have mixed feelings talking about it. But an entire support system came into place, here. My colleagues, my mom's friends, her colleagues, and family. S came over right away from work to be with me. Flowers have come pouring in. Family friends pitched in and bought us a take-home dinner so we didn't have to cook. I swear, even Scout knows and has been spending more time with me than usual. There have been so many offerings of help.

The world, in a way, is a little more bright and cheerful. I can't find the words to explain how amazed I am at the joy of life, the hidden explanations and "what ifs" and mysteries of luck. I am so thankful for the beauty in these people I love and this town and the world I live in. I am so lucky that this incident is now, really, only just an inconvenience, and not the loss of something more. I am just so eternally and irrevocably thankful and appreciative of this beautiful world. Letting go of the negative, and embracing the happiness and positivity in life, is so so so much better.

ciao, xo

christmas 2015

 As I type this, it is Sunday December 27th...and I smiled today because some of the radio stations are still playing all the Christmas songs :) The cheer and the hype is what makes me really excited, and it is so contagious, all through songs, visions of red and green, and the smells of cooking, pine, cinammon-goodness...there are so many senses of Christmas.

So here are just a few (I mean, just a few) pictures from the holidays this year. Most of my efforts went into making a video, actually, so the best of the best you can see below. This is becoming somewhat of a family tradition, to make goofy movies...and I love it!

password: chritmat

ciao! xo and enjoy!

whirlwind trip: seattle

 Seattle!! What a gem! We spent a beautiful whirlwind of 2 days here in the Emerald City and it was an absolute delight, such a great city to explore from scratch without any major plans. My first instinct was noting how laid back and outdoorsy the city felt; it is not a city of high glamour or materialism. It seems to be booming and growing everyday, with new construction and building. In every corner of the city, blue and green surrounds the eye.

The highlights of the trip were our trip to Bainbridge Island and the family time that we were able to spend with my aunt, uncle, mother and cousins in between our time in the city. We planned the trip poorly, but managed to fit in a lot of the items on my bucket list!

Day 1 : We arrived early in the morning at met my mom at our hotel in downtown Seattle.  We stayed at the lovely Westin and honestly, it was one of the most luxurious rooms I've stayed in! The down sheets and comfy pillows were by far my favorite part! We got started right away after stowing our bags, and headed first for Pike Place Market. S and I wanted to do some touristy things, like see the fish being thrown at Pike Place and the scenic views of the Puget Sound. We had so much fun with my mom goofing off and leisurely walking past the stalls! My particular favorite were all the flower vendors, who had the most vibrant bouquets with generous heaps of sunflowers, dahlias, snapdragons, and ranunculus. We had lunch at the delicious Sound View Cafes - our table had chicken quesadillas, sandwiches, and fries - and enjoyed our seat. We were perched right above the piers along the Puget Sound, so we had a prime view of the ferries humming along the waterways and disappearing in and out of the fog.

After lunch, we perused a lot of stores and got used to walking the hills of Seattle. We stopped by Beecher's Cheeses and glimpsed at the first Starbucks location - but honestly they were teeming with people and the thought of being stuck in lines was horrible. We made our way out of the Pike Place area and we ended our day shopping by visiting the REI store. Seriously, it was the coolest of stores I've been to. I'm not a big outdoors enthusiast, but after going into REI I wanted to become one! The camping equipment and apparel had me dreaming of redwood forests and open Washington roads.

For dinner we went to visit family in the northern suburbs of Seattle - a simple pizza and wine with the family was SO relaxing and chill. I was in love with the area and was so glad we spent the day entirely outside. S and I had an early start that morning (we were up at 3am!) so I was definitely craving sleep by the time dinner was done.

Day 2 : The original plan was to see the San Juan Islands by ferry but due to our lack of planning and time constraints, we figured that a short trip to Bainbridge Island would satisfy our desires to travel on the Washington ferries. It was! We enjoyed the morning so much, even though it was a bit cloudy and we didn't see Mount Rainier very clearly (darn!). The expansive blue waters and hazy hills in the distance make Seattle so dreamy - I know it rains a lot, but it makes the greens lush and happy. Bainbridge Island was ridiculously beautiful, and as we pulled up we realized that it was quite small and quaint. S and I strolled around by foot and opted to take a walking trail along the water that eventually led up into the town center. We saw the marina, which was quite parched of water as Seattle is experiencing a dry summer. After exploring the woods, looking at the wild berries and all of the boats in the water, we meandered up into the center of town and found the most adorable main street. It was filled with cafes, a bookstore, cute boutiques and gift shops, and other mom & pop stores. Absolutely no chains or franchises (except for maybe a bank). It was charming! My favorite stop was our spontaneous find at the Blackbird Bakery - seriously we just stumbled upon it! - for a latte and a little apple pie. We loved that little bakery!

On our ferry ride back, we snapped photos of the Seattle skyline once it came into view and figured our next move. I was really interesting in snapping some pictures of the city from a high point - thank goodness S is always up for my outrageous ambitions - so I did a little old fashioned searching on a paper map from our hotel. I found that the Columbia Center, the tallest building in Seattle, was the best spot for observing the city and the surrounding water and mountains. It also happens to be the 2nd tallest building on the west coast! Seriously, it was gigantic and quite impressive. We ventured to the observation deck on the 73rd floor for $15 each (ouch) and had a most amazing 360degree view of the city. If it were a bit clearer we probably would have seen Mt. Rainier and Mt. Baker! That was a bummer. But the view was so stunning, we stayed up there for quite a while and really got the most out of the deck. We had lunch at the Columbia Center and planned our way back up to the suburbs for a last family visit.

Our remarkable visit is over, but we cannot wait to be back to explore more of the Pacific Northwest!! I am itching to go back!

Highlights:

- Mercury Coffee based out of Woodinville is seriously amazing coffee - the best I have had in a WHILE! I am so glad I discovered this company, and wish there was a location near me. Check it out! We had a fantastic experience at the cute to-go shack we visited, along with fantastic service. A must-visit. It makes Starbucks taste like dishwater!
- Pike Place calligraphy, flowers, and fish tossing!
- Taco dinner with family outdoors, enjoying the last of the daylight
- The walking trail at Bainbridge Island, and exploring the woods with S!
- Seeing (or at least being pointed in the direction of) Seattle giants such as Microsoft and Nintendo
- The stadiums (S's fave!)
- Blackbird Bakery
- Seeing the Space Needle at night, peeking through the buildings as we zoomed down I-5
- Hanging out at REI and contemplating camping life - it would be fun to hang out in a tree tent, right?
- Introducing Mom to UBER! :) She loved it and we had amazing drivers!
- Stopping for iced coffees with Mom and S
- The Columbia Sky Deck - seriously amazing views, arguably the best in the city.
- Our hotel - love at first sight!
- Metsker's Maps is a favorite store in our family! I use a lot of their maps in my work, and could spend hours in there - it's amazingly overwhelming.

ciao! xo

all-american night

My blog! I've neglected you! I'll bore you with my reasons later, because I really want to get into this post - seriously, the perfect summer night! It felt so classically American; taking in baseball, amazing, cool weather, a spectacular sunrise, catching whiffs of sugary funnel cake. We're currently down in Maryland visiting my sister, and we're having the best time doing spontaneous and impromptu things...like showing up to a minor league baseball game to see the Bowie Baysox!

Turns out I kind of loved the game, which I wasn't expecting.  Our seats were amazing, and the best part was the really kind and generous people we met and shared the game with. My sister caught a ball at the end of the game, the Baysox won (new favorite thing to say: GOOOO Baysox!) and we got to chat with new acquaintances that brightened all of our days. There's something about the smell of freshly popped popcorn, hot dogs, and the brassy organ chimes of merry-go-rounds. The entire night felt low key and unkempt in a summery way, in a way, so I opted for a messy ponytail and a super comfortable outfit. Thanks to my sis for the borrowed vest! :)

This evening also marked the very last due date of my final grad assignment for the course I just finished - yess! 

I feel much freer, in a sense, and it feels like summer just unfolded. So many plans up in the air! I'll be spending a lot of my summer days in California with S, so I am really excited {follow along!}. We are hoping to make a few little trips out of the summer, but plans still need some shaping and organizing. I've been keeping super busy, so I am looking forward to the next few days without worrying about due dates and homework assignments. It's funny to be a student again, I secretly love it.

It's been a long day of car driving and baseball watching. Time to call it a night! :)

ciao, xo

by the corral

Hi, everyone! Happy Thursday [already - this week flew!] The frenetic, crazy, I-don't-even-have-time-to-go-to-the-bathroom days have been getting to me; but somewhere deep down I know that this too shall pass. And when it does, I'll weirdly miss it. Anyway, I am looking forward to the weekend regardless and am so excited for one piece of big news next week: S is coming home for a nice long visit! I've been planning some cool things for us to do, but I don't want it to be a rushed visit filled with to-do lists.

I kind of want a day to look like the pictures above. Maybe a picnic in a dandelion-filled field? (ugh, allergies). These beautiful fields are my favorite fields. It's a long stretch of open land and a horse corral, surrounded by dense maple trees and lots of deer. They're right outside of my grandmother's house, where we spent Mother's Day. I remember growing up and being fascinated by the corral "out back," and watching deer graze around the apple trees in my grandma's backyard. I have the faintest memories of watching for real-life Bambi, going to search for my mom's old tree house near the creek, and going on excursions to visit the horses way out back. Even in my twenties I still look out the window and look for something. This past week's discovery was a lurking cat and an unsuspecting cardinal...there's always something to find.

lots of good things happening!

ciao! xo

dinner on the deck

Evening dinners on the deck in the months before it gets swelteringly hot is the one of the best things we all love in our family. This dinner, inspired by the kebab recipe I shared here, just came together effortlessly. We have gotten so good at pulling this kind of a thing out of nowhere! Our dinner was a relaxed and quiet al fresco garden dinner for mother's day - featuring our mediterranean kebabs, pesto rotini, wild grain rice, roasted red potatoes and of course some of my favorite pecorino cheese. To top it off? My one and only favorite wine, chianti.

Barefoot evenings on the deck like this make summer feel like it is really here - it's easy to completely slip away and forget that there is work and responsibilities and an early rise coming in the morning. I love these lazy nights, where the dinner slowly carries on into the darker twilight hours, and no one needs to know the time or check their phones because everyone is there. Once the sun goes down, the lights lining the deck make everything look so magical. Dinner is usually followed by everyone unhurriedly roaming to the fire pit, where more wine is drunk and s'mores are made...

These kinds of moments make me so excited to have my own dinners and gatherings...with lots of wines, lots of cheeses and olives, dishes inspired by Tuscany - simpler and lighter and better - alla griglia. I'll have a big annual festa, where everyone wears light linens and sits at a huge, long wooden table filled with all sorts of pasta piatti and small dishes. Dinner will drawl on to the latest midnight hours, there'll be fairy lights strung about, and the great white moon and the stars will be the grand finale at the end of the night.

ciao! xo